Situations like this find me grasping for words. Revision: Situations like this find me grasping for words of content that don’t remind me of yearbook signing. There’s a lot to be said for my experiences with the INN, as a student, on staff. I’ve been asked how I feel quite a few times this week and here’s what I say: I feel good; it’s been a good time, a good year, and a growing experience. I feel complete as far as the INN is concerned–resolved.

My good friend Gwen found herself experiencing something quite similar in October of 1995; and, I think we can all learn a lot from what she told me. She told me, I can’t believe this could be the end. It looks as though you’re letting go, and if it’s real, well, I don’t want to know.

And despite, or maybe because, of all she was feeling, she continued, she told me, Don’t speak; I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t need your reasons. Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts.

And really, I think I’m with her when she says, Don’t speak; I know just what you’re saying, so please stop explaining. Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts.

So I will simply say this: Thanks, Gwen. Thanks, INN. Thank God.

yup, it’s that time of year. as my good friend Dave (the intern) mops the floor of the area of the office that me and my good friends (the interns) worked in all year, I think to myself, “I’m really glad I’m not mopping the floor.” I don’t like doing it, so he can do it.

As I sit and swivel in my chair, pushed out into the main office so that the floors are clear for mopping, I also think of the year I just had. Boxes and boxes of random (very useful) things are piled around me (stuff I didn’t even realize I had) and I think of something my good friend Andy (the intern) said. “You have two speeds, Pat, on and off.”

My immediate reaction was to be taken slightly aback. Of course, I was also amused, but if someone says that you have two speeds, they’ve probably seen both speeds happening, and I don’t like to imagine myself being “off”.

But now I like it.

Everyone needs to rest, and when I rest, I REST. None of this bubble-baths-without-bubbles/champagne/music/candles business, because that’s not resting. If you’re going to be resting, you need to REST.

And when I’m not resting, I’m not resting. It’s a nice thing.

Anyway, I have a lot of stuff in this office. A lot of my stuff. I like to think it’s because I invested myself here, because I wanted to be ready for anything, because I desire for people to be able to use the things I have for good and constructive means.

It’s probably actually because I have no car and I’m really messy, but who knows?

This has been a pretty good year, I’m glad it happened. Next year is shaping up to be rad also. I’m looking forward to it.

Over this past year, I have done and have been a part of a lot. It’s been a fun, fast paced, challenging, hard, yet rewarding year. Being in a new place, meeting new people, and working a new job were a little overwhelming the first few months that I was here in Bellingham. Having to dive right in and be a part of the community of people called the INN was a rush. I am glad I took that leap.

Over the course of my time here in Bellingham I have learned a lot about myself and who I am as a person, as well as a Christian. My faith journey has been something of a “smooth” ride for the most part, but moving across the country to start completely fresh and new was really tough. The challenge has been really good for me though. I have been strengthened in my faith in ways that I haven’t been in the past and I will take what I have learned into the next season of life.

The relationships that I have formed here will last for, I hope, the rest of my life. The students who I have become friends with are incredibly special to me and I cherish all their friendships. They have made me fell welcome from the beginning and that was so great to have the feeling.

The staff members at the INN are all dear friends now and I am truly thankful and grateful for them. They have also made me feel very welcome transitioning into life in Bellingham, and now the thought of not being around is hard to think about. I will greatly miss this place.

As I type this out I am sitting at Avellino where I have joined the trend, in great INN fashion, in making is my second office. I will also miss the atmosphere, the caramel americanos, the delicious pastries, and the hipsters who fill each table and chair here.

Bellingham holds a special place in my heart and for all who have contributed to the experience, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Good has come from this and I don’t know what else to say.  I will miss you all.

Blessings.

There is a rush of gratitude on certain occasions: a loaned book that turns out incredible; the gift of coffee in the early morning; an open recording studio and the know-how for the equipment, even if it’s 2 a.m. on a school night. There is a rush of recognition that one has laid aside even the minute semblance of comfort for the sake of another. In the moment, these are the things that are profound. Over time, they speak to so much more.

Since September (any since 2005, really) I have seen these occasions laid back-to-back-to-back in the lives of my peers. The act of laying aside one’s comfort for the sake of another in the way of time, in the way of empathy, in the way of talent, in the way of money, in the way of humor and kindness, laughter and tears—so much laid aside that each looks less and less like laying down parts, but the whole.

Yesterday, in the contradiction of sun and wind at Lake Padden, I stood with staff at the INN to say thank you, and echo thank you, and repeat thank you to so many who have laid down their lives this year—as homes, as food, as words, as music, as paint, as designs, as time, as hospitality, as empathy, as prayer, as advice—laid down their lives for their fellow man to curl up against in the cold, lonely night.

The rush of gratitude begins to resemble humility over time. The act of giving can never be repaid; a gift, whatever its form, is not a transaction, rather a token that speaks to the depth of grace, a face to compassion. The writer Anne Lamott says one of the most important prayers a person can learn is Thank you, thank you, thank you; and, I think it’s that simple because a futile thing such as language seems a fitting medium for such a futile thing as attempts at adequate gratitude.

Last night we held the INN’s annual thanks BBQ at Lake Padden.  And I got to thinking about what it is that I have to be thankful for, which turns out to be quite a few things.  But most of them aren’t things.  They are people.  A few of them are places.  OK, maybe a couple of them are things.  But that’s ok.  So here are a number of people, places, and things that I am thankful for.  Seventeen of them.  Why seventeen, you ask?  Check out Emily’s blog for that answer.

1. Tuesday night dinner makers.  I am lucky if I remember to eat lunch on most Tuesdays.  If it wasn’t for those of you who make us dinner, I would probable skip dinner, too.  You are all fantastic.
2. My parents.  They are loving, wise, and caring people who have always supported me (even when I signed on for an internship at a college ministry) and taught me what it means to work hard to treat others well.  I am also pretty sure I got the beard-growing gene from my dad.
3. Final Cut Express.  It is far superior to iMovie.
4. Staff meetings on Wednesday mornings.  Weird, I know, but being around the whole staff is always nice, and it really is one of the highlights of the week for me.
5. Photographs that will hopefully do some justice to what this year has been.  Hard to capture all that the internship has been in pixel form, but I like to try.
6. Bellingham when it is sunny.
7. Jim Schmotzer and the questions he asks during intern training.  I have not ever really been someone who plans for the future, but his guiding questions have really been a challenge and a help when thinking about what comes next in life.
8. Donuts.  Not just eating them, but as a part of working at a church, the represent meeting new people, catching up with those I already know, and a chance to take a break.
9. Student meetings with people I already know and those I don’t know too well.  It is amazing to see how God is working in the lives of Western students, and I feel honored to have the chance to hear about it.
10. Coffee and Morning Thunder black tea.
11. Mission Trips.  Having been on a number of these as a student, I loved the chance to be a leader and get to see what it is these trips do in the lives of students.  It is truly an amazing time.
12. Hilltoppers, both the meal as well as the wonderful folks who attend.  They know a thing or two about life.
13. Days off.
14. Former and soon to be future roommates.
15. A good nights sleep.  They don’t happen often, but when they do, oh man.
16. Molly Ann Perara.
17. There are four other interns here at the INN this year, and it has been a joy working/praying/talking/playing/drinking coffee with them throughout the year.

Wow. Only 17 days left of this thing called the INNternship. Here are some thoughts about 17 things I will miss that I love so dearly about the INN and working here:

1. Snacks. People so graciously provide yummy scones, cookies, fruit, etc. for staff pretty consistently. These times of nourishment amidst a busy schedule won’t be forgotten.

2. Seth Thomas cracking up at our staff meeting while talking about the Birds, Bees and Being Retreat (aka Sex Retreat).

3. Lisa Schwank standing on one of the office chair spinning around making wise-cracks.

4. Basically the crazy times in the office.

5. Those Tuesday nights where students just linger and linger because they (a) are avoiding homework, (b) feeling more and more connected after a mission trip and/or (c) love the INN.

6. Leading my sister group and having moments where things just click and people are being honest and real. I love it when the ladies in my group hang out outside group and become more involved in supporting each other.

7. Uncontrollable laughter at retreats, in the office, on mission trips, etc.

8. Staff days. Specifically the bike trip we had a few Fridays ago to Lummi Island.

9. Girl time. Lisa and Lindsay call it “Emily time.” Rory calls it “hot chocolate time.” I call it “girl time.”

10. Getting to connect with ministries that are doing wonderful things beyond Washington such as Blood/Water Mission and Compassion International.

11. Funny videos. Getting to learn how to shoot and edit them, and getting to see others’ creativity through them.

12. The sanctuary. It’s just plain beautiful. Especially with 200-300 people singing together in the candlelight connecting with God.

13. Mission trips. Some of the most challenging, community-building, eye-opening times in the last 5 years have been on the 4 mission trips I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of. The chance to get away and be used in a different place with the INN is extraordinary.

14. Student meetings. I get to hang out with college students who are SO cool. They ask me questions, I get to hear their stories, and we get to just share fun moments.

15. The utterly humbling moments when I have messed up, and people have shown me grace. There has been so much grace from staff and students.

16. The times when all we can say is, “I have a weird job.” These include “How many sequins should I get for the shirts?” “Do you think we could make a cardboard-cutout football player and a paper mache blimp?” “If anyone has any growly bowlies, I need to know.” “Who wants to be Santa Claus and dance around in Red Square……Seth?” and SO many more.

17. The people. I love the people.

Love,
Emily